This manuscript has a lot of potential. The dogs are cute and often funny and Jake is a realistic character who undergoes a dramatic change and due to the Lord Jesus, not due to himself. The fact he is concerned about getting the $30 to help free the dog that is scheduled to be put to sleep shows he has a heart when the pastor gives him an opportunity to help the church as a plumber in an emergency situation. I like the fact the pastor is written as a good man, a Good Samaritan, if you will.
The idea of angels turning into dogs is a bit different but then you see how it fits in as the story progresses. I also think that including the song “Oh Holy Night” is a great idea. And the fact that Barbara-Ann sees Jake differently when he is cleaned up symbolically shows what a major change God can make in people’s lives. As it stands, the “For God’s Sake” comment on page 62 is a no-no! And the “OMG” comments, though not many, should be removed. Also, I think the line the “devil is in charge down here” should be re-phrased to something like, “The devil often has his way down here” or something like that. We also recommend that Barbara-Ann thinking the pastor eyes her and that he might be “naughty”, even though this is in her mind, should be removed. At least the he might be “naughty” part. There are humorous moments in the script and it has potential. If the above recommendations are followed, we can award the manuscript our “Family-Approved Seal for all ages. The line that says, “In the end good always wins” is a nice sentiment.