Witless Protection

Theatrical Release: February 22, 2008
Witless Protection


Larry the Cable Guy returns for another comic misadventure as a small town sheriff who unwittingly gets involved in a high profile FBI case in Lionsgate’s new comedy, WITLESS PROTECTION. During a routine day spent patrolling his small town, Larry witnesses a beautiful, high-class woman, Madeleine, being held against her will by four mysterious, black-suited men. Recognizing the opportunity to save the day, Larry “kidnaps” her, only to learn that Madeleine is actually a key witness in a high-stakes Chicago crime case and her captors are FBI agents assigned to protect her. Madeleine is furious. But Larry, who rightly suspects the agents are crooked and Madeleine is in danger, forces her on a harebrained trip to Chicago to solve the case himself. Together, the mismatched duo must grapple with angry FBI agents, quack doctors and Chicago high society.

Dove Review

I am not a fan of Larry the Cable Guy’s self-deprecating humor and this movie did not change my mind. His low-brow jokes and redneck comments did nothing to help an uninteresting and unintelligent plot. I lost track of the number of sexual innuendos delivered by Larry and this cast full of stereotypical and just plain stupid characters. And I haven’t even mentioned the contrived accents. It didn’t take long into the film before it was clear that it would be a one-joke festival with Larry’s trademark similes and misstatements taking center stage.

Between the constant harsh language and sexual innuendos, there is little for a family audience to enjoy in this movie. I understand that some people like their movies simple and don’t need a heavy plot to enjoy their theater experience. But, I think the filmmakers could have done better by leaving out the language and fart jokes.

This film has few redeeming qualities and does not receive the Dove “Family-Approved” Seal.

Content Description

Sex: Some kissing, including a passionate kiss at the end of film; woman's face falls into man's crotch in car; there was sexual innuendo and sexual wordplay constantly throughout the film.
Language: J-2; GD-1; D-8; H-9; SOB-4; A-10; S-6; BS-2; B-3; G/OMG-4; Butt-2; Slang for women's breasts and men's privates countless times.
Violence: Slapstick type violence with mainly punching and hand-to-hand fighting; man holds gun to another man's head; gunshots at car which break windshield; snake bites man on nose; a planned explosion; a hypodermic needle is plunged into a woman's face; man hits seemingly dead woman in face several times.
Drugs: Woman shown smoking several times in glamorous manner; one scene with alcohol; man seen spitting tobacco and inserting tobacco chew into mouth; Botox is used to make a character appear dead.
Nudity: Cleavage, bare midriff and short skirt mainly on one character; Larry the Cable guy shown shirtless, in underwear and completely nude with hat covering his privates; the cover of a magazine titled "Big Busts"; breast-shaped earphones complete with nipples.
Other: Man gives the finger; several flatulence jokes including one extended scene where character receives a body cavity search and has an accident; Islamic character is called names; a man projectiles vomit; man shown holding a lighter to his pants while farting; man falls face first into fresh horse droppings.


Company: Lionsgate
Writer: Charles Robert Carner and Alan C. Blomquist
Genre: Comedy
Runtime: 105 min.
Industry Rating: PG-13
Starring: Larry The Cable Guy, Richard Bull, J. David Moeller, Will Clinger
Reviewer: Julie Kemme